And every time you speak her name does she know
how you told me you'd hold me until you died...
Till you died....but you're still alive... And everytime
I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it.
HAHAHA, I fucking hate you. And I didn't think that was possible.
maybe im just a bit insensitive?? perhaps i block my own emotions so much that i dont understand when someone acts on their own? why i think they are often overreacting and should get a grip on theirselves...perhaps i should get a grip on my own emotions and realize what its like to have a heart o.o
Jumat, 30 April 2010
Kamis, 29 April 2010
I will rape your face, thank-you and goodnight.
had your heart broken
but the hope handed to you in the same hour...
that is a weird feeling
im not sure whether to carry on crying my eyes out
or to try and figure out what to do next
sometimes for her just to say "i love you"
is all i'll ever need
aslong as i have her
Ever had one of those people that you just can't seem to let go of and they can't let go of you? I'm in one of those situations where it's a girl and I just don't know if the trust is there, we've got a long checkered history between us, with some pretty rough patches between us because of something she did that hurt me really bad. she wants us to both forget about and move on together but I just don't know if I can trust her... the paranoia just keeps getting worse, I want to care but somethings are just hard to overlook.
mother fucking pissed off
had an completely epic weekend
but it gets put on a fucking downer
im angry i want to punch anything
and just freak the fuck out
why
tbh i cba to go into it cause i'll probably get something wrong
but im annoyed cause im not fucking listened to when all im trying to do is defend my self for a valid reason..that being im pushed i'll push the fuck back...
but im putting as much as i humanly can aside to put up with something that is winding me up cause its so stupid
but no im not allowed to explain that im putting alot of effort in to deal with it and get the fuck on
but hell if its so fucking easy for all the anger to be fucking directed at me and pin me the same fucking thing
so fucking be it just dont expect me to be fucking happy about it
just ugh
im actually that fucking pissed off
when it couldve been resolved so much simpler
but no have a go at me for "not listening" when i have been all along
tbh i dont want to be angry at all i cant help it when it escalates and then i get my control of it taken from me so i cant do shit
tbh i think the other sides the problem im just stuck cause its obviously my fault
FOR DOING NOTHING
apart from being a sarcastic cunt
thats all i'll need.regardless
but the hope handed to you in the same hour...
that is a weird feeling
im not sure whether to carry on crying my eyes out
or to try and figure out what to do next
sometimes for her just to say "i love you"
is all i'll ever need
aslong as i have her
Ever had one of those people that you just can't seem to let go of and they can't let go of you? I'm in one of those situations where it's a girl and I just don't know if the trust is there, we've got a long checkered history between us, with some pretty rough patches between us because of something she did that hurt me really bad. she wants us to both forget about and move on together but I just don't know if I can trust her... the paranoia just keeps getting worse, I want to care but somethings are just hard to overlook.
mother fucking pissed off
had an completely epic weekend
but it gets put on a fucking downer
im angry i want to punch anything
and just freak the fuck out
why
tbh i cba to go into it cause i'll probably get something wrong
but im annoyed cause im not fucking listened to when all im trying to do is defend my self for a valid reason..that being im pushed i'll push the fuck back...
but im putting as much as i humanly can aside to put up with something that is winding me up cause its so stupid
but no im not allowed to explain that im putting alot of effort in to deal with it and get the fuck on
but hell if its so fucking easy for all the anger to be fucking directed at me and pin me the same fucking thing
so fucking be it just dont expect me to be fucking happy about it
just ugh
im actually that fucking pissed off
when it couldve been resolved so much simpler
but no have a go at me for "not listening" when i have been all along
tbh i dont want to be angry at all i cant help it when it escalates and then i get my control of it taken from me so i cant do shit
tbh i think the other sides the problem im just stuck cause its obviously my fault
FOR DOING NOTHING
apart from being a sarcastic cunt
thats all i'll need.regardless
FUCK YOU FOR WAKING ME UP!
Iv never felt so hurt and broken before..
i dont want to wake when i fall asleep, please. I dont wanna wake...
Someone make the pain stop, please. It hurts so fucking bad.
If you really don't want me in your life then please say so,
Don't pretend that you enjoy my company,
i will honestly leave you alone,
i will go away and disappear,
Just like i came in your life,
I will do anything for your sake,
I will stop loving you, if that's what you wish,
But please don't ask me to stop remembering you,
because that's the only way i can stay alive,
Knowing that you're happy, keeps me going,
Knowing that you're smiling, removes all my pain,
Please don't ask me to stop loving, just like that,
I need a little time, i sure will try,
I'll hide my love,
i'll conceal my tears,
but please dear don't look too deep into these eyes
or you might find what i fear,
I'll turn my head,
I'll try my best to lie to myself,
That i don't love you,
that you don't deserve me,
I'll try my best to lie to myself,
that i don't care about you,
that I don't miss you,
I'll try my best to lie to myself,
that I've moved on, and that you're my past,
It hurts real bad,
But for the sake of your happiness,
I'll sacrifice my love, my happiness
For the sake of your love and happiness,
i shall go away, never to return again
i dont want to wake when i fall asleep, please. I dont wanna wake...
Someone make the pain stop, please. It hurts so fucking bad.
If you really don't want me in your life then please say so,
Don't pretend that you enjoy my company,
i will honestly leave you alone,
i will go away and disappear,
Just like i came in your life,
I will do anything for your sake,
I will stop loving you, if that's what you wish,
But please don't ask me to stop remembering you,
because that's the only way i can stay alive,
Knowing that you're happy, keeps me going,
Knowing that you're smiling, removes all my pain,
Please don't ask me to stop loving, just like that,
I need a little time, i sure will try,
I'll hide my love,
i'll conceal my tears,
but please dear don't look too deep into these eyes
or you might find what i fear,
I'll turn my head,
I'll try my best to lie to myself,
That i don't love you,
that you don't deserve me,
I'll try my best to lie to myself,
that i don't care about you,
that I don't miss you,
I'll try my best to lie to myself,
that I've moved on, and that you're my past,
It hurts real bad,
But for the sake of your happiness,
I'll sacrifice my love, my happiness
For the sake of your love and happiness,
i shall go away, never to return again
Selasa, 27 April 2010
Suffrage of a different sort,
one that bent her mind and
burdened her body.
It captured her
and didn't let her leave.
She collapsed, from the inside out.
[I need more than what you can offer me
or what your mind can comprehend.]
My world is a monstrosity.
Filled to the brim with razorblades, crack pipes and empty whiskey bottles.
My lungs cry for pure oxygen, my liver is long gone,
and my arms...
my arms are covered on scars from you.
I remember the first day my world came crashing.
You were there, laughing.
My whiskey turned to water and my crack pipe shattered.
Those damn bugs won't stay still.
I'll spare my lungs this time, injecting my veins full of poison.
My liver thanks me.
Months go by and you can see my ribs.
I have become the skeleton I once feared.
My veins have collapsed and my lungs have turned to dust.
The stinging burn on my nose is constant,
my brain slowly decapitating.
I look at you with my bloodshot eyes, raising a bony hand and whisper...
The way he speaks to her makes her heart warm again..
Pulsing, beating red hot blood through her veins.
He makes her smile,
Oh, what a smile.
One that remained hidden for years..and yet such a simple sentence flowing from his luscious lips brought it out of hiding.
He ignited such a fire in her, such desire.
She craves for more.
one that bent her mind and
burdened her body.
It captured her
and didn't let her leave.
She collapsed, from the inside out.
[I need more than what you can offer me
or what your mind can comprehend.]
My world is a monstrosity.
Filled to the brim with razorblades, crack pipes and empty whiskey bottles.
My lungs cry for pure oxygen, my liver is long gone,
and my arms...
my arms are covered on scars from you.
I remember the first day my world came crashing.
You were there, laughing.
My whiskey turned to water and my crack pipe shattered.
Those damn bugs won't stay still.
I'll spare my lungs this time, injecting my veins full of poison.
My liver thanks me.
Months go by and you can see my ribs.
I have become the skeleton I once feared.
My veins have collapsed and my lungs have turned to dust.
The stinging burn on my nose is constant,
my brain slowly decapitating.
I look at you with my bloodshot eyes, raising a bony hand and whisper...
The way he speaks to her makes her heart warm again..
Pulsing, beating red hot blood through her veins.
He makes her smile,
Oh, what a smile.
One that remained hidden for years..and yet such a simple sentence flowing from his luscious lips brought it out of hiding.
He ignited such a fire in her, such desire.
She craves for more.
This Is No Love Story
I wish I were anyone else but me, just for a moment.
A moment's all I need.
I would sail away, to the farthest sea, just to be anyone but me.
You were here in my life for so long, you were my best friend.
You understood me when others didn't.
You stood by me when I was at my worst.
You were an amazing person, but you injected yourself full of poison.
Did you want to die, or did you want that high?
I'm pretty sure it was both.
Honestly though, I don't care if dying was your choice. I still love you, and I'll always miss you.
You guys are seriously stupid.
You don't see what's in front of you.
That shy, quiet girl that always gives you compliments, passes you in the halls and blushes whenever you say 'hey'
Is
Deeply
In
Love
With
You.
She's too afraid you'll break her heart, so she's not going to tell you.
Its up to you to go up to her with two dozen of her favorite flowers, kiss her on the hand, and tell her, 'i love you too.'
His breathtaking eyes make me stare.
His smile released butterflies in my stomach.
His voice makes me melt.
Every time he whispers "I love you," my brain turns to mush, my heart stops, and I am frozen in that moment.
He is the reason I lay awake at night, staring at the ceiling.
He is the reason I am an insomniac.
She is dressed in a silvery white gown, looking so beautiful, so angelic. Her midnight-black hair frames her soft face, guiding you to her gray-blue eyes...those piercing eyes…every time you look into them, she makes you drown. Her body is slender, so fragile, as if a single touch would shatter her.
Walking to the bathroom, she slips out of her gown- revealing a black and blue body. The deep gashes in her back are fresh, proof of her disobedience. Scars cover her body beneath the bruises; the whip had been cruel to her.
She turns on the water, filling the tub full of icy water- makeup running down her porcelain face. She holds a knife in her hand, and she gently runs the blade across her arm, teasing her skin, splitting it slightly. The crimson flows from her arm, dripping onto the tub, turning its unstained white pink.
For the first time since she had fallen to him, she smiled.
She climbs into the tub; the cold water sends shivers of numbness throughout her body. Submerging herself fully into the water, she waits. Her blood vessels constrict, her heart slows.
She digs the knife into her flesh once more, letting the warm crimson tides mix with the freezing water.
Closing her eyes, she slowly fades away.
A moment's all I need.
I would sail away, to the farthest sea, just to be anyone but me.
You were here in my life for so long, you were my best friend.
You understood me when others didn't.
You stood by me when I was at my worst.
You were an amazing person, but you injected yourself full of poison.
Did you want to die, or did you want that high?
I'm pretty sure it was both.
Honestly though, I don't care if dying was your choice. I still love you, and I'll always miss you.
You guys are seriously stupid.
You don't see what's in front of you.
That shy, quiet girl that always gives you compliments, passes you in the halls and blushes whenever you say 'hey'
Is
Deeply
In
Love
With
You.
She's too afraid you'll break her heart, so she's not going to tell you.
Its up to you to go up to her with two dozen of her favorite flowers, kiss her on the hand, and tell her, 'i love you too.'
His breathtaking eyes make me stare.
His smile released butterflies in my stomach.
His voice makes me melt.
Every time he whispers "I love you," my brain turns to mush, my heart stops, and I am frozen in that moment.
He is the reason I lay awake at night, staring at the ceiling.
He is the reason I am an insomniac.
She is dressed in a silvery white gown, looking so beautiful, so angelic. Her midnight-black hair frames her soft face, guiding you to her gray-blue eyes...those piercing eyes…every time you look into them, she makes you drown. Her body is slender, so fragile, as if a single touch would shatter her.
Walking to the bathroom, she slips out of her gown- revealing a black and blue body. The deep gashes in her back are fresh, proof of her disobedience. Scars cover her body beneath the bruises; the whip had been cruel to her.
She turns on the water, filling the tub full of icy water- makeup running down her porcelain face. She holds a knife in her hand, and she gently runs the blade across her arm, teasing her skin, splitting it slightly. The crimson flows from her arm, dripping onto the tub, turning its unstained white pink.
For the first time since she had fallen to him, she smiled.
She climbs into the tub; the cold water sends shivers of numbness throughout her body. Submerging herself fully into the water, she waits. Her blood vessels constrict, her heart slows.
She digs the knife into her flesh once more, letting the warm crimson tides mix with the freezing water.
Closing her eyes, she slowly fades away.
Blow
White indulgence, lines of pleasure
sought out by all the party people.
Get in groups, now its those people
who lay strewn amongst the floor.
Let me just collect myself,
I can do one more.
Escaping in the clutches of a gripping powder,
making you its slave.
All hail, mighty master,
take me away.
I indulge in what you bring me,
and in how I can escape.
Must it be so powerful against my will,
that I cannot be me?
Apparently, it will defeat me
and one day, I will tap out.
We only love what we do not completely possess.
Without passion, man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark.
You can fool some of the people all of the time.
You can fool all of the people some of the time.
But you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
You can't tell which way the train went just by looking at the tracks.
Sometimes in life the glass seems half empty, sometimes it seems half full, and sometimes the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.
It is hard to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
Time past is time gone.
Minds are like parachutes, if they are closed they won't hold you up.
Mistakes are stepping stones to the future.
People seldom know what they want until you give them what they don't want.
Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.
Don't waste tears on what might have been.
We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
Genius has its limits, stupidity has none.
We may want what we want when we want it but more often we get what we get when we get it.
It's not what they take away from you that counts, it's what you choose to do with what you have left.
If we can go deep into ourselves we will find we possess exactly what it is we desire.
We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
sought out by all the party people.
Get in groups, now its those people
who lay strewn amongst the floor.
Let me just collect myself,
I can do one more.
Escaping in the clutches of a gripping powder,
making you its slave.
All hail, mighty master,
take me away.
I indulge in what you bring me,
and in how I can escape.
Must it be so powerful against my will,
that I cannot be me?
Apparently, it will defeat me
and one day, I will tap out.
We only love what we do not completely possess.
Without passion, man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark.
You can fool some of the people all of the time.
You can fool all of the people some of the time.
But you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
You can't tell which way the train went just by looking at the tracks.
Sometimes in life the glass seems half empty, sometimes it seems half full, and sometimes the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.
It is hard to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
Time past is time gone.
Minds are like parachutes, if they are closed they won't hold you up.
Mistakes are stepping stones to the future.
People seldom know what they want until you give them what they don't want.
Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.
Don't waste tears on what might have been.
We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
Genius has its limits, stupidity has none.
We may want what we want when we want it but more often we get what we get when we get it.
It's not what they take away from you that counts, it's what you choose to do with what you have left.
If we can go deep into ourselves we will find we possess exactly what it is we desire.
We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
She walks alone, exactly ten steps behind you. Clutching her books tightly against her chest, she keeps her bright gray eyes glued to the floor. Her long black hair flows gently to her waist. She glances at you quickly, catching your eye. You smile, causing her to blush, and turn to walk in the opposite direction. You chase after her, running out the door to find she has disappeared into the street. You find she has dropped a small journal, picking it up, you open to the first page.
"his breath-taking eyes make me stare. every time i hear his voice... my heart races and my brain turns to mush. he makes my legs turn to jelly, forcing me to me knees. i love him."
You turn the page and continue to read, pages upon pages of her undying love. At the end, you find, a poem entitled with your name.
You must find her.
You must know her.
You love her, and you don't even know her name.
She is your little gothic cinderella.
"his breath-taking eyes make me stare. every time i hear his voice... my heart races and my brain turns to mush. he makes my legs turn to jelly, forcing me to me knees. i love him."
You turn the page and continue to read, pages upon pages of her undying love. At the end, you find, a poem entitled with your name.
You must find her.
You must know her.
You love her, and you don't even know her name.
She is your little gothic cinderella.
All I ask for, is your heart.
What I need, is your love.
What I want, is you.
And so, he picked her up and let her breathe, with a new set of glasses instead of those broken wings. I've never seen eyes sparkle like hers did. And with a sharp gaze, where Beauty reigns, tomorrow came. For the first time, everything shined like it was created to. He called her Diamonds, she called him Home.
Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights
Calm the ache, stop the shakes
You clear my mind
You're my escape
From this messed up place
'Cause you let me forget
You numb my pain
How can I tell you just all that you are
What you do to me
You're better than drugs
Your love is like wine
Feel you comin' on so fast
Feel you comin' to get me high
Tied, chained, barely able to breathe,
my Master towers above me on my knees.
Never wanting Him to walk away or leave,
Imploring Him to realize with a look i am completely His.
Waiting expectantly for the flogger to land,
Not only do i want Him, i NEED Him.
No matter what He may have in His hand,
my devotion to Master, my Sadist will never dim.
He enjoys inflicting physical pain when He can,
Knives, canes, clamps may be His choice of toy.
He is my Master, not merely a man,
He is my life.
i adore Him, i idolize Him, i accept Him in my core,
He wears leather and my heart as His prize.
my spirit glows when my Master brings dark fantasies to the fore,
He is my Sadist, i His masochist even when the blood dries.
Splatter your sorrows on walls of regret,
blaming migraines on late nights and
pieces of paper with a doctor's signature on them.
I may, at a later date, thank you for smearing
my reality onto everyone's pages and making me
population's vulnerability. [as for now, I'll just glare in sheer hatred]
Intimate ideas scream their way onto torn loose leaf,
where you see my honesty find a voice and I hold nothing back.
My pen expels philosophies of love, life, and my every heartbreak.
[each word represents a tear drop, each paragraph, a wasted day]
Alive used to be a word I used when I still know what it felt like.
But since time chose to wrap me in vines of consequences and
love me with lies, I feel double-sided.
I'm caught between knowing how to live in love
and never wanting to wake again.
And right now, I don't feel like loving.
my heart beats in breakdowns,
so write me a song that i can scream at you.
Sorry for the person I became.
Sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again-
cause who I am hates who I've been.
A man can be destroyed but not defeated.
- Ernest Hemmingway,
The Old Man and the Sea
What I need, is your love.
What I want, is you.
And so, he picked her up and let her breathe, with a new set of glasses instead of those broken wings. I've never seen eyes sparkle like hers did. And with a sharp gaze, where Beauty reigns, tomorrow came. For the first time, everything shined like it was created to. He called her Diamonds, she called him Home.
Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights
Calm the ache, stop the shakes
You clear my mind
You're my escape
From this messed up place
'Cause you let me forget
You numb my pain
How can I tell you just all that you are
What you do to me
You're better than drugs
Your love is like wine
Feel you comin' on so fast
Feel you comin' to get me high
Tied, chained, barely able to breathe,
my Master towers above me on my knees.
Never wanting Him to walk away or leave,
Imploring Him to realize with a look i am completely His.
Waiting expectantly for the flogger to land,
Not only do i want Him, i NEED Him.
No matter what He may have in His hand,
my devotion to Master, my Sadist will never dim.
He enjoys inflicting physical pain when He can,
Knives, canes, clamps may be His choice of toy.
He is my Master, not merely a man,
He is my life.
i adore Him, i idolize Him, i accept Him in my core,
He wears leather and my heart as His prize.
my spirit glows when my Master brings dark fantasies to the fore,
He is my Sadist, i His masochist even when the blood dries.
Splatter your sorrows on walls of regret,
blaming migraines on late nights and
pieces of paper with a doctor's signature on them.
I may, at a later date, thank you for smearing
my reality onto everyone's pages and making me
population's vulnerability. [as for now, I'll just glare in sheer hatred]
Intimate ideas scream their way onto torn loose leaf,
where you see my honesty find a voice and I hold nothing back.
My pen expels philosophies of love, life, and my every heartbreak.
[each word represents a tear drop, each paragraph, a wasted day]
Alive used to be a word I used when I still know what it felt like.
But since time chose to wrap me in vines of consequences and
love me with lies, I feel double-sided.
I'm caught between knowing how to live in love
and never wanting to wake again.
And right now, I don't feel like loving.
my heart beats in breakdowns,
so write me a song that i can scream at you.
Sorry for the person I became.
Sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again-
cause who I am hates who I've been.
A man can be destroyed but not defeated.
- Ernest Hemmingway,
The Old Man and the Sea
This makes more sense the way I sing it >>
And I'm
Bumping into the darkness
And slowly becoming more heartless
as I wait,
and I complain
And I'm
Swallowing up distractions
As I'm watching for your reaction
as I wait,
slowly get drained.
And I'm
Tripping over my own feet
As I struggle for a repeat
of all the nights
I won't forget.
And I'm
Crying what's left of my heart out
So that all that's left is self-doubt
And I melt...
It won't happen yet.
So..I might forget about it
I'm out of they way and it's only 'cause of my freaking fault
I'm so stupid that now I regret not have given my best during the last 3 years
And now I'm paying the freaking consequences
Bah, I'll tell you guys later
So everyone thinks I'm Bi now.
To clear things up:
I. AM. NOT!
I assure you!
I've liked someone (male) for over a month! (and still do O.O)
Speak for me. Intercede for this mouth that has no words to speak. I'm challenged by the tackling wind and I'm crying out to you with pleas of surrender. I know what rescue feels like, just please remind me of its embrace. I'm not okay with concrete heart attacks, so please set me free.
Make me see my worth and let me know You are enough. I just want to be held. I only want my wings to work. When will I fly again?
Okay... this woman
Really much scared the SHIT OUTTA ME!
Look at her pictures..
I think I will die...
> __ <
I know what you're talking about....
And it makes me feel great. I'm fantastic. Amazing. Never been better!
Oh yeah, and I'm also sourly sarcastic...
In case you haven't noticed.
I keep finding out more and more things I wished I would never know. I am watching events I didn't wish to occur slowly unfold in front of me. Those things are happening, and it's just pissing me off and driving me crazy.
Things are changing too fast when they shouldn't be.
I'm discovering shit I wish I never knew.
It's changing my views and I'm left unsettled, but still painfully longing.
The wrong people are doing and saying the things I hoped the right person will/would do.
However, now I know the right person won't ever do those things.
And it's leaving me
irritated
sad
worried...and hopeless. Even more than I already have been.
You
have
no
idea
what I'm talking about.
Bumping into the darkness
And slowly becoming more heartless
as I wait,
and I complain
And I'm
Swallowing up distractions
As I'm watching for your reaction
as I wait,
slowly get drained.
And I'm
Tripping over my own feet
As I struggle for a repeat
of all the nights
I won't forget.
And I'm
Crying what's left of my heart out
So that all that's left is self-doubt
And I melt...
It won't happen yet.
So..I might forget about it
I'm out of they way and it's only 'cause of my freaking fault
I'm so stupid that now I regret not have given my best during the last 3 years
And now I'm paying the freaking consequences
Bah, I'll tell you guys later
So everyone thinks I'm Bi now.
To clear things up:
I. AM. NOT!
I assure you!
I've liked someone (male) for over a month! (and still do O.O)
Speak for me. Intercede for this mouth that has no words to speak. I'm challenged by the tackling wind and I'm crying out to you with pleas of surrender. I know what rescue feels like, just please remind me of its embrace. I'm not okay with concrete heart attacks, so please set me free.
Make me see my worth and let me know You are enough. I just want to be held. I only want my wings to work. When will I fly again?
Okay... this woman
Really much scared the SHIT OUTTA ME!
Look at her pictures..
I think I will die...
> __ <
I know what you're talking about....
And it makes me feel great. I'm fantastic. Amazing. Never been better!
Oh yeah, and I'm also sourly sarcastic...
In case you haven't noticed.
I keep finding out more and more things I wished I would never know. I am watching events I didn't wish to occur slowly unfold in front of me. Those things are happening, and it's just pissing me off and driving me crazy.
Things are changing too fast when they shouldn't be.
I'm discovering shit I wish I never knew.
It's changing my views and I'm left unsettled, but still painfully longing.
The wrong people are doing and saying the things I hoped the right person will/would do.
However, now I know the right person won't ever do those things.
And it's leaving me
irritated
sad
worried...and hopeless. Even more than I already have been.
You
have
no
idea
what I'm talking about.
Senin, 26 April 2010
Okay, so I will delete people who I don't talk to from my friend's list
If you wanna stay say
''I do''
and I will keep you here
Time's running out
(:
So, do you wanna stay?
And not I just started doubting if it's worth it...
I'm no good with funerals,
They make me feel sad and awkward
Up till the past year I've only had to go to maybe two my entire life
This past year, we're now up to four....
I dont like this.... =[
If you wanna stay say
''I do''
and I will keep you here
Time's running out
(:
So, do you wanna stay?
And not I just started doubting if it's worth it...
I'm no good with funerals,
They make me feel sad and awkward
Up till the past year I've only had to go to maybe two my entire life
This past year, we're now up to four....
I dont like this.... =[
So apparently this one guy who used to like me, but decided to hate me after I was too slow at replying to his messages (you know who you are) has been deliberately friending people off my list to try and convince them I'm the root of all evil.
That's stalking. You're obsessed. You need to get help. Seriously.
Get on with your life, man.
Found this quote online. This is EXACTLY how I feel sometimes.
"this world brought me down...crashed me to the floor and stomped on me. let me down, turned its back and walked away to leave me to lay on the cold hard ground to die alone."
He tears off each leg,arm,and head of his "subjects" carefully then separates them into piles
He takes the torsos and mix-matches them with the arms and legs
His creations are beautiful
And also quite delicious
He loves eating his gummi bears <3
You came into my life unexpectedly,
and everything took a turn for the better.
Your warm eyes, your laugh,
the sincere way you speak,
and the kindness you showed me,
all became a part of my life.
As you unfolded yourself to me,
I discovered more and more beauty.
I have never seen so much
gentleness in one person.
Without even knowing it,
you were slowly making a place
for yourself in my heart.
It used to seem so hard at times
to feel so close in a relationship.
But it’s so easy to feel close to you.
I can’t tell you how nice that feels.
I realize now that I had never known
what it meant to be loved
until I was loved by you.
That's stalking. You're obsessed. You need to get help. Seriously.
Get on with your life, man.
Found this quote online. This is EXACTLY how I feel sometimes.
"this world brought me down...crashed me to the floor and stomped on me. let me down, turned its back and walked away to leave me to lay on the cold hard ground to die alone."
He tears off each leg,arm,and head of his "subjects" carefully then separates them into piles
He takes the torsos and mix-matches them with the arms and legs
His creations are beautiful
And also quite delicious
He loves eating his gummi bears <3
You came into my life unexpectedly,
and everything took a turn for the better.
Your warm eyes, your laugh,
the sincere way you speak,
and the kindness you showed me,
all became a part of my life.
As you unfolded yourself to me,
I discovered more and more beauty.
I have never seen so much
gentleness in one person.
Without even knowing it,
you were slowly making a place
for yourself in my heart.
It used to seem so hard at times
to feel so close in a relationship.
But it’s so easy to feel close to you.
I can’t tell you how nice that feels.
I realize now that I had never known
what it meant to be loved
until I was loved by you.
Jumat, 23 April 2010
BLEH!!
I'm in love with you
You are what brought me up from the darkness
You heard my calling
You made me happy
Your words are so sweet
I love your smile
I love your eyes
I love you
Why the fuck do people sit there and talk about people? Why the fuck do people sit there and make up fucking lies and spread them around?
Everything this bitch says about me, is making me look really fucking bad. Am I really that bad of a person?
I mean come on I have my times where I can be a bitch but that is like never. This bitch needs to watch who the fuck she is talking shit about, I'm not fucking scared of her. She wants to talk shit I will go over to her house right now and kill her ass.
I'm not going to deal with it anymore.
well thought I'd just let you all know that... kkz?
why does my life always suck !?!?!
does God hate me that much that he always has 2 put my in situations that make me frustrated, pissed off, mad, sad, and stressed out ???
>.> i wish i would start my life over but keep everyone that i love and i know and that im friends with, with me. cuz i really wish i had a reset button. i think a lot of people wish they had a reset button....
well at least im not alone. i really really really wish i could get a hug from someone right now. D: why cant drama and bull shit would leave me alone.... >.> GOSH !!!! LIFE SUCKS ASS !!!!!!!!!!!! D: do i have 2 kick ur motherfucking ass lil gurl !?!?!
Tell me how good life can be. Tell me about good times. Tell me you'll miss me. Tell me what I have to look forward to. Tell me who loves me. Tell me who cares. Don't tell me how shitty life if. If you do you're wishing for my death. If you tell me life is pointless, I WILL grab a gun. Hold it to my head, pull the trigger, and be dead within two minutes. So all I'm asking of you is to tell me how good life is even if you have to lie. I am on the tip and I'm falling. I'm falling fast and if some don't catch me...
fuck this world!! do what u want! live ur life free!! u just leave the bullshit u dont need it. there not like me. i thout they were my friends but no
my life i have a vary bad life and its not geting any better and today i lost my bast friend because of this guy that i hate and he hates me he cuz me out and did other things to me and my ex friend know that and she said that she will not date him so she lied to me and we have been bff for 9 or 10 years and we lost it now because she dont
want to list to me about him and he is lieding to her about alot of things he asked me sex thing like if i would fuck him and if he could do things to me and he asked me for pics and other things and she will not list to me about him and she knows that im not lieding to her about him and other ppl told me what eles he dose and i cant believe her after all we been in to and im going to a bad time right now and she knows that and she did this to me and her bf keeps giveing me go to hall looks and i told her about it and she said that she cant do anything about and if he dose not giveing me those looks he is going to get it because i cant take it anymore and if could help me out with this plz help me !!!!!
for some reason anything bad that happens to me, my dad somehow finds a was to make it my fault. i know he loves me but sometimes he males me feel like nothing. and then theres rare times where he doesnt make me feel worse than i already am. MAKE UP YOUR MIND MAN! this could be partly why i dont really open up to people that much
i feel so empty, i ruined the bond between my brother and i and i hate myself for it...i need tlk to him to try and make things good again...he was coming to see me coz i was safe to him...but i was scared and pushed him away...i will soon have scars that remind me of this and i replay the way he looked at me over and over in my mind and i can't help but cry and wish i could go back and fix it.
Blehh, I hate when my friends fight. It's retarded; especially over stupid bullshit. I hope they realize that highschool is coming soon and our problems are gonna be more than birthday parties and bitches :/ I'm sure a couple of them will reply to this with a nice little attitude, but this is the truth and they'll find out soon haha. I love my friends, but fighting over this?... So 6th grade y'all xD
But one of my friends was half right- everyonecan make their own damn decision, so don't try to make them for them or they WILL get pissed off, and you WILL deserve the bitch out you get.
You are what brought me up from the darkness
You heard my calling
You made me happy
Your words are so sweet
I love your smile
I love your eyes
I love you
Why the fuck do people sit there and talk about people? Why the fuck do people sit there and make up fucking lies and spread them around?
Everything this bitch says about me, is making me look really fucking bad. Am I really that bad of a person?
I mean come on I have my times where I can be a bitch but that is like never. This bitch needs to watch who the fuck she is talking shit about, I'm not fucking scared of her. She wants to talk shit I will go over to her house right now and kill her ass.
I'm not going to deal with it anymore.
well thought I'd just let you all know that... kkz?
why does my life always suck !?!?!
does God hate me that much that he always has 2 put my in situations that make me frustrated, pissed off, mad, sad, and stressed out ???
>.> i wish i would start my life over but keep everyone that i love and i know and that im friends with, with me. cuz i really wish i had a reset button. i think a lot of people wish they had a reset button....
well at least im not alone. i really really really wish i could get a hug from someone right now. D: why cant drama and bull shit would leave me alone.... >.> GOSH !!!! LIFE SUCKS ASS !!!!!!!!!!!! D: do i have 2 kick ur motherfucking ass lil gurl !?!?!
Tell me how good life can be. Tell me about good times. Tell me you'll miss me. Tell me what I have to look forward to. Tell me who loves me. Tell me who cares. Don't tell me how shitty life if. If you do you're wishing for my death. If you tell me life is pointless, I WILL grab a gun. Hold it to my head, pull the trigger, and be dead within two minutes. So all I'm asking of you is to tell me how good life is even if you have to lie. I am on the tip and I'm falling. I'm falling fast and if some don't catch me...
fuck this world!! do what u want! live ur life free!! u just leave the bullshit u dont need it. there not like me. i thout they were my friends but no
my life i have a vary bad life and its not geting any better and today i lost my bast friend because of this guy that i hate and he hates me he cuz me out and did other things to me and my ex friend know that and she said that she will not date him so she lied to me and we have been bff for 9 or 10 years and we lost it now because she dont
want to list to me about him and he is lieding to her about alot of things he asked me sex thing like if i would fuck him and if he could do things to me and he asked me for pics and other things and she will not list to me about him and she knows that im not lieding to her about him and other ppl told me what eles he dose and i cant believe her after all we been in to and im going to a bad time right now and she knows that and she did this to me and her bf keeps giveing me go to hall looks and i told her about it and she said that she cant do anything about and if he dose not giveing me those looks he is going to get it because i cant take it anymore and if could help me out with this plz help me !!!!!
for some reason anything bad that happens to me, my dad somehow finds a was to make it my fault. i know he loves me but sometimes he males me feel like nothing. and then theres rare times where he doesnt make me feel worse than i already am. MAKE UP YOUR MIND MAN! this could be partly why i dont really open up to people that much
i feel so empty, i ruined the bond between my brother and i and i hate myself for it...i need tlk to him to try and make things good again...he was coming to see me coz i was safe to him...but i was scared and pushed him away...i will soon have scars that remind me of this and i replay the way he looked at me over and over in my mind and i can't help but cry and wish i could go back and fix it.
Blehh, I hate when my friends fight. It's retarded; especially over stupid bullshit. I hope they realize that highschool is coming soon and our problems are gonna be more than birthday parties and bitches :/ I'm sure a couple of them will reply to this with a nice little attitude, but this is the truth and they'll find out soon haha. I love my friends, but fighting over this?... So 6th grade y'all xD
But one of my friends was half right- everyonecan make their own damn decision, so don't try to make them for them or they WILL get pissed off, and you WILL deserve the bitch out you get.
*sigh* I hate when bitches talk shit right in front of you and act like your not there >.> girl: I like her pants friend: eww I wouldnt be friends with you if you wore that! I'd smack you so you'd have a better sense of style me: *laughs* its ok if you don't like them but you don't have to be mad that you can't afford them its ok girl: eww I have more money than you so wtf? me: really? your wearing leggins....kinda makes it seem you can't even afford pants let alone mine so...yeah girl: whatever fucking bitch me: its not being bitchy its called being honest....>.> and so then I got off and she gave me the finger...yes because getting the finger hurts so much -_- anyways I couldnt really give two fucks if you don't like my clothes the truth is they're worth more then your wanna be polo's and prada's and your lint covered leggings but other than that today was freaking hilarious! this week has been fun and hyper so far but I wish they did this NEXT week lmfao we'll see STEPPIN ON THE BEACH DO DO DO DO
best friends was what thought to be
broken hearted now how could this be?
i loved, incorect i love you
i was holding on with my last grip
but you cut the rope and let go
falling fast
but no ends
you stand abouve angery
no sarrow just anger
CRASH!
i hit the waves hard
i'm drowning
best friends was what thought to be
broken hearted now how could this be?
i loved, incorect i love you
i was holding on with my last grip
but you cut the rope and let go
falling fast
but no ends
you stand abouve angery
no sarrow just anger
CRASH!
i hit the waves hard
i'm drowning
Holy Flying Fuck D:
I hate that I miss you.. because I no longer have you.
And I hate that I have somebody, and I still want you.
No wonder why my dreams are of me running, I'm keeping this secret bottled up.
:/
ok so all i can say is I GIVE UP!
i give up on life, i give up on love, i give up on hope
im just completly giving up.
im not letting my gaurd down again.
I feel like someone cut out my heart and stepped on it in front of me. My life has gone from bad, to worse to great to unbelieveable and now I just dont care.
Aiden's telling me we need a "breal" because her mom needs her to get her grades up.... WTF do u think thats doing to me?? When I just got home from seeing u 2 days ago?? Im dead inside and I cant stop crying, havent for the past 2 hours..
ALL my teachers at my school are being fired because of budget cuts and I wanna drop out now because they were the only thing keeping me in my High school.... I started a potition to keep them but I feel like it wont work.
I've never felt more alone... EVER..Not when Ryan killed himself because I ignored him, not Steph leaving me and ignoring me for weeks after our 6 month annniversary, I told her she was my life and soul, finding out I was pregnaunt with my first real boyfriend "true loves" baby, not when I was cheated on by him, ... nothing compares to how I feel right now... I want to die, I wish I would.
I cant think and I cant feel.. Im just numb. I see no point in trying anymore.. In anything, I just get hurt or kicked in the face or heart broken. And Im tired of it...
Nothing I do is good enough.. I just dont care.
And I hate that I have somebody, and I still want you.
No wonder why my dreams are of me running, I'm keeping this secret bottled up.
:/
ok so all i can say is I GIVE UP!
i give up on life, i give up on love, i give up on hope
im just completly giving up.
im not letting my gaurd down again.
I feel like someone cut out my heart and stepped on it in front of me. My life has gone from bad, to worse to great to unbelieveable and now I just dont care.
Aiden's telling me we need a "breal" because her mom needs her to get her grades up.... WTF do u think thats doing to me?? When I just got home from seeing u 2 days ago?? Im dead inside and I cant stop crying, havent for the past 2 hours..
ALL my teachers at my school are being fired because of budget cuts and I wanna drop out now because they were the only thing keeping me in my High school.... I started a potition to keep them but I feel like it wont work.
I've never felt more alone... EVER..Not when Ryan killed himself because I ignored him, not Steph leaving me and ignoring me for weeks after our 6 month annniversary, I told her she was my life and soul, finding out I was pregnaunt with my first real boyfriend "true loves" baby, not when I was cheated on by him, ... nothing compares to how I feel right now... I want to die, I wish I would.
I cant think and I cant feel.. Im just numb. I see no point in trying anymore.. In anything, I just get hurt or kicked in the face or heart broken. And Im tired of it...
Nothing I do is good enough.. I just dont care.
Im dead inside..
I Felt ill, that was all
Andd i needed the loo so i went downstairs
Then i went all funny, i felt sick, i went clammy
Erghh, i tried to get back to bed, but i could only get to the upstairs bathroom
So i sat on the side of the bath
Everything was going fuzzy
I can remember my mum coming in
Then the next thing i knew i woke up in an ambulance
I was proper fucked up D:
Apparently i had a fit
then i passed out and fell backwards into the bath and wacked my head and neck on the side of it!
Hospitals are so shit, they couldn't do anything about it, so they sent me home at 5 o'clock in the morning
I mean i feel okay, it's just i think i've done something to my neck, cause it kills when i move it
But like since it happened
i've been a different person
I'm acting different
and it's scaring me :/
i want to start over, begin fresh. I know lately I've been different, I'm sorry. i feel my emotions building up. I love you, don't stop, for if you do i will be shattered. Your more than perfect, your the best. I know i may a little hard to handle, but so far you've been the first to do it. the first day i hold you, will be the start of my new life, you said that. I don't want this to end, i want you forever. She can't take you away from me, i won't allow it. because your gonna be the one to save me from this mess, after all your my wonderful. i wish the wind would take me away from this place, and bring me to you.
This love,This pain,Is pulling me away
away,from,all your love and
and all the hate,its killing me
me inside,to just fucking,fucking think about you
You make me sick,look what you did to me,
Im fucking dieing now,and you dont give a motherfucking damn,
why did i even love you,why did i even care,i was warned,
you used me,for your own fun little fucking games,
you used me,what a fucking waste of my time,
i wish you would die, die just like i did,from the pain,
my hearts a failure,its filled with pain,
i give you the love,this love,this love,
but i feel the pain,this pain,this pain,
dont come runing back to me,i dont want your filthy so called love,
all it did was fill me with hate,i would cry my eyes out,
but id rather see you cry at my fucking funeral,
i dont give a damn any more,life is a waste to me,
so go on and keep your so called love,
i hope you know i will always feel this pain and,
and hold this hate,your dead to me now
Andd i needed the loo so i went downstairs
Then i went all funny, i felt sick, i went clammy
Erghh, i tried to get back to bed, but i could only get to the upstairs bathroom
So i sat on the side of the bath
Everything was going fuzzy
I can remember my mum coming in
Then the next thing i knew i woke up in an ambulance
I was proper fucked up D:
Apparently i had a fit
then i passed out and fell backwards into the bath and wacked my head and neck on the side of it!
Hospitals are so shit, they couldn't do anything about it, so they sent me home at 5 o'clock in the morning
I mean i feel okay, it's just i think i've done something to my neck, cause it kills when i move it
But like since it happened
i've been a different person
I'm acting different
and it's scaring me :/
i want to start over, begin fresh. I know lately I've been different, I'm sorry. i feel my emotions building up. I love you, don't stop, for if you do i will be shattered. Your more than perfect, your the best. I know i may a little hard to handle, but so far you've been the first to do it. the first day i hold you, will be the start of my new life, you said that. I don't want this to end, i want you forever. She can't take you away from me, i won't allow it. because your gonna be the one to save me from this mess, after all your my wonderful. i wish the wind would take me away from this place, and bring me to you.
This love,This pain,Is pulling me away
away,from,all your love and
and all the hate,its killing me
me inside,to just fucking,fucking think about you
You make me sick,look what you did to me,
Im fucking dieing now,and you dont give a motherfucking damn,
why did i even love you,why did i even care,i was warned,
you used me,for your own fun little fucking games,
you used me,what a fucking waste of my time,
i wish you would die, die just like i did,from the pain,
my hearts a failure,its filled with pain,
i give you the love,this love,this love,
but i feel the pain,this pain,this pain,
dont come runing back to me,i dont want your filthy so called love,
all it did was fill me with hate,i would cry my eyes out,
but id rather see you cry at my fucking funeral,
i dont give a damn any more,life is a waste to me,
so go on and keep your so called love,
i hope you know i will always feel this pain and,
and hold this hate,your dead to me now
Hey I don't have much time so don't judge
Iam taken by the most amazing guy in this world. He's name is landyn i couldn't ask for more from him. I love him sooo muchhh! yes landyn if you're reading this i LOVE you no heart LOVE! C: baby if you're reading this im sorry for everything i put you threw :/ i don't ever want to lose you. My world would be nothing with out you landyn. Im soo happy when we talk. even we have our lil fights im still happy knowing that i have you the feelings i have for you are amazing, no one can compare to you. all these other girls say 'omgsh im so in love with my boyfriend' blah blah blah no there not they don't know love until they know how i feel its something unexplainable but im trying my best to explain it. I want to tell you everyday that i love you but im afraid :/ so i say heart youu! ^-^ but now landyn..im not afraid to tell you i love you. I want to tell you every second of the day how much i love you. but i know you don't love me..yetdiddle
but that's okay(:
Im still going to love you no matter what baby ^-^I LOVE YOU LANDYNNNNNNNN!hearts
but that's okay(:
Im still going to love you no matter what baby ^-^I LOVE YOU LANDYNNNNNNNN!hearts
I WONT let it hurt
i lost you yet again ! because you care more
for her then you EVER did for me !
i though it was bffs before gfs ! but not with you ! i guess
even though i feel like cutting my wrist upen badly !
i wont ! i wont let you get to me once more !
i wont hurt over you again !
i will move on !
maybe go back to my loner self !
it will make it easier !
NO ! i wont do that !
I WILL not THINK bout you ! EVER again !
even though i will miss you ! i will MOVE ON
for her then you EVER did for me !
i though it was bffs before gfs ! but not with you ! i guess
even though i feel like cutting my wrist upen badly !
i wont ! i wont let you get to me once more !
i wont hurt over you again !
i will move on !
maybe go back to my loner self !
it will make it easier !
NO ! i wont do that !
I WILL not THINK bout you ! EVER again !
even though i will miss you ! i will MOVE ON
Fuck!!
Fuck
I need help . im such a sap .
thinking i could go and care less about u really didnt work .
I really dont fuckin get why only u are getting to me no one else.
FML someone please tell me this wont last forever .
I need help . im such a sap .
thinking i could go and care less about u really didnt work .
I really dont fuckin get why only u are getting to me no one else.
FML someone please tell me this wont last forever .
I think I just lost the most positive thing in my life...how can this actually be happening? I thought we were supposed to be forever. I guess I was wrong...
No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave
No matter how many breaths that you took you still couldn't breathe
No matter how many nights that you lied wide awake to the sound of the pausing rain
Where did you go? where did you go? where did you go?
Heart beat, a heart beat, I need a... heart beat, a heart beat...
Tell me would you kill to save for a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn let it all burn
This hurricane is chasing us all underground.
No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget
No matter how many lives I live, I will never regret
There's a fire inside this heart and a riot about to explode into flames
Where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God? ...
Do you really want?
Do you really want me?
Do you really want me dead?
Or alive to torture for my sins?
Do you really want?
[heart beat, a heart beat]
Do you really want me?
[I need a.. heart beat, a heart beat]
Do you really want me dead?
[you know I gotta leave, I can't stay,
I know I gotta go, I can't stay]
Or alive to live a lie?
Tell me would you kill to save a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn let it all burn
This hurricane's chasing us all underground
You say you wrong, you wrong, I'm right, I'm right, you're wrong, we fight
Ok, I'm running from the light, running from the day to night
Oh, the quiet silence defines our misery
The riot inside keeps trying to visit me
No matter how we try, it's too much history
Too many bad notes playing in our symphony
So let it breathe, let it fly, let it go
Let it fall, let it crash, burn slow
And then you call upon God
Oh you call upon God
Tell me would you kill to save a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn let it all burn
This hurricane chasing us all underground
This hurricane...(x5)
Do you really want?
Do you really want me?
Do you really want me dead?
Or alive to torture for my sins?
Do you really want?
Do you really want me?
Do you really want me dead?
Or alive to live a lie
No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave
No matter how many breaths that you took you still couldn't breathe
No matter how many nights that you lied wide awake to the sound of the pausing rain
Where did you go? where did you go? where did you go?
Heart beat, a heart beat, I need a... heart beat, a heart beat...
Tell me would you kill to save for a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn let it all burn
This hurricane is chasing us all underground.
No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget
No matter how many lives I live, I will never regret
There's a fire inside this heart and a riot about to explode into flames
Where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God? ...
Do you really want?
Do you really want me?
Do you really want me dead?
Or alive to torture for my sins?
Do you really want?
[heart beat, a heart beat]
Do you really want me?
[I need a.. heart beat, a heart beat]
Do you really want me dead?
[you know I gotta leave, I can't stay,
I know I gotta go, I can't stay]
Or alive to live a lie?
Tell me would you kill to save a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn let it all burn
This hurricane's chasing us all underground
You say you wrong, you wrong, I'm right, I'm right, you're wrong, we fight
Ok, I'm running from the light, running from the day to night
Oh, the quiet silence defines our misery
The riot inside keeps trying to visit me
No matter how we try, it's too much history
Too many bad notes playing in our symphony
So let it breathe, let it fly, let it go
Let it fall, let it crash, burn slow
And then you call upon God
Oh you call upon God
Tell me would you kill to save a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn let it all burn
This hurricane chasing us all underground
This hurricane...(x5)
Do you really want?
Do you really want me?
Do you really want me dead?
Or alive to torture for my sins?
Do you really want?
Do you really want me?
Do you really want me dead?
Or alive to live a lie
Poetry
As the wolf howls,
it sings about you.
Dream ,dream,
such a beautiful life.
Ugly truth,ugly truth,
but a beauiful lie.
Rumors about me,
that I can never hear.
Troubles surely bound me,
but I have no fear.
Weary memories kill the system within me,
her screams,his fists.
But the life I have,
the puzzle peices naver end up to fit.
it sings about you.
Dream ,dream,
such a beautiful life.
Ugly truth,ugly truth,
but a beauiful lie.
Rumors about me,
that I can never hear.
Troubles surely bound me,
but I have no fear.
Weary memories kill the system within me,
her screams,his fists.
But the life I have,
the puzzle peices naver end up to fit.
when people tend to hate you.
Why won't you talk to me... Whenever I show any sort affection you push me away very quickly... What do I do so wrong... Why can you not ever talk to me? When you were trying to convince me of things you wanted my attention and nothing else... Now its like I am just in the way and you don't want me... What can you not tell me... God I feel so fucking hurt and like a burden like I feel like to everyone...